alone again (naturally)

I quit my beloved job today, and it may seem i did it for no good reason.
I don’t a have a secured new position with a higher salary.
No one really bangs my door, eager to offer me one.
Why have i done it?

It was an emotional decision, which is unusual for me.
But emotional doesn’t mean wrong.

I invest a lot in my work.
You could even say I kept it runnin’ on my soul’ flame.
I pride myself on caring a whole lot about my work.
I’m more emotional about my work than I’m about my love life.
Emotional decision was valid.

What gives happiness at work?

Growth.
work must push your limits, broaden your vision, stretch your talents.
Clarity.
clear goals, clearly laid out rules, clearly drawn line of responsibility.
Unambiguous assessment.
don’t throw words like “you failed everything” every damn time,
despite whatever we’ve achieved.
Control.
just give me the damn control about what I do!
let me make my fuckin’ decisions!
I’m good at it.

And two weeks ago I looked around myself, and noticed that there’s no more fun in my work, there’s just monotonous trying to break through cordon of not-interested, while having close to none authority and being held responsible for not my decisions.

What sealed the deal for me through, was a minor detail; idle, random talk.
I was told that I DON’T care about my job.
And instantly I was tempted to STOP caring for real.
It was like having a key stone removed from it’s place.

If I DON’T care – I wish you can find someone who DOES.
And i’m excited to see you top my “everything is failed”-achievments.

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