Tag Archives: about me

cozy time

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3 days of Condor

Turner: You’re funny. You take pictures of empty streets and trees with no leaves on them.

Kathy: It’s winter.

Turner: Not quite winter. They look like November. Not autumn, not winter. In-between.
I like them.

Kathy: Thanks.

Kathy: Sometimes I take a picture that isn’t like me, but I took it so it is like me. It has to be.
I put those pictures away.

Turner: I’d like to see those pictures.

Kathy: We don’t know each other that well.

Turner: Do you know anybody that well?

Three Days of Condor

musical timeline

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That filament that flies by
and it brings yellow light
from those yellow summers back
by coconut palm and snowy pine.

I carry tunes around like they carry me

Last.fm tracks wave part 01
Last.fm tracks wave part 02

~full size~

this is not an all-time-favourite-songs list, this is songs-i-listened-on-repeat-for-days timeline.

more than a melody’s needed, more than a melody’s needed, more than a melody’s needed, more than a melody’s needed, more than a melody’s needed…

cultural heritage markup

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Home: Upper world

подруга: а это “верхний мир”…
я: ну вот такой у меня верхний мир >___<

из диалога с гостем

* Весело провели полчаса, ползая по вики и просматривая символическое значение*

Обитатели Верхнего Мира

  • Птенец кондора. [1], [2], [3]
  • Заяц-шаман, повелитель мухоморов [4], с посохом из веретена. [5]
  • Будда в платочке, за ним – палочки с ароматом инжира. [6]
  • Gypsy Danger [7]
  • Стеклянные сосуды.[8]
  • Многочисленные свечи.[9]

Footnotes:

[1] Andean condor

[2] Apparently, female.

[3] In Andean mythology, the Andean condor was associated with the sun deity, and was believed to be the ruler of the upper world.

[4] Amanita muscaria was widely used as an entheogen by many of the indigenous peoples of Siberia. Its use was known among almost all of the Uralic-speaking peoples of western Siberia and the Paleosiberian-speaking peoples of the Russian Far East.

[5] The spindle is closely associated with many goddesses, including the Germanic Holda, Norse Frigg and Freya, Egyptian Isis, Greek Artemis and Athena.
It is often connected with fate, as the Greek Fates and the Norse Norns work with yarns that represent lives.

[6] Buddha achieved enlightenment under the bodhi tree, a large and old sacred fig tree (Ficus religiosa, or Pipal).

[7]“There are things you can’t fight, acts of God. You see a hurricane coming, you have to get out of the way.
But when you’re in a Jaeger, suddenly, you can fight the hurricane. You can win.”
– Raleigh Becket, Pacific Rim

[8] Glass is an ancient material, one of the most ancient known and used by man. The first glass used was natural obsidian, volcanic glass, used to make arrowheads, knives, jewelry, etc. Glass objects created of man made glass are reported to have been found as early from as 4,500 BC in Mesopotamia and 3,000 BC in ancient Egypt. (….) Glass is a melding of the traditional four elements, because through fire and air the silica earth element is made molten and transmuted into a liquid only to return to its earthly state as an apparent solid. (…) Metaphysically, glass represents and carries the energies of transformation, merging of elements, rebirth, focus and communication.

[9] Extensive usage in ceremonies all over the world

Disclaimer: All coincidences are coincidental, and as such – hold even greater value for practicing symbolism readers.

Here and Now

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Несмотря на купленый на 27 января билет в Хабаровск, в любой момент дня и ночи может раздаться звонок, который заставит меня улететь ближайшим рейсом.
Здоровье моего отца стремительно ухудшается и дата, которую я 2 месяца назад увидел как критическую, явственно приобретает все шансы стать таковой.
I won’t be late this time.

Пошла вторая недели жизни в режиме:
– до 17 часов все планы на вечер под вопросом и требуют подтверждения.
– планы на завтра – с оговоркой, что они могут быть отменены в момент.
– а пятницы вообще нет на радаре.

Говорят, 90% населения живет так всю жизнь.

Договориться на встречу – несбыточная мечта.
Билет на концерт заранее – необоснованый оптимизм.
Планов не существует, это все wishful thinking.

Если не сегодня, то… в 6 часов вечера после войны?
I need my future back.

what might be is NOW

how this ends

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Struensee as portrayed by Mads Mikkelsen

В формате байки.
Иоганн Струэнзе – врач безумного короля Дании Кристиана VII, чудесный мужик.
– стал де факто правителем Дании в 18м веке на пару лет
– принял впечатляющий список законов
– трахнул королеву *
– ожидаемо плохо кончил

Наглядно иллюстрирует что такое есть a man with power, a plan and on a deadline.

А что сделал ты, username?
Let’s not waste time.
Struensee held absolute sway for almost thirteen months, between 18 December 1770 and 16 January 1772.
During this time he issued no fewer than 1069 cabinet orders, or more than three a day.
Reforms initiated by Struensee included:

  • abolition of torture
  • abolition of unfree labor (corvée)
  • abolition of the censorship of the press
  • abolition of the practice of preferring nobles for state offices
  • abolition of noble privileges
  • abolition of “undeserved” revenues for nobles
  • abolition of the etiquette rules at the Royal Court
  • abolition of the Royal Court’s aristocracy
  • abolition of state funding of unproductive manufacturers
  • abolition of several holidays
  • introduction of a tax on gambling and luxury horses to fund nursing of foundlings
  • ban of slave trade in the Danish colonies
  • rewarding only actual achievements with feudal titles and decorations
  • criminalization and punishment of bribery
  • re-organization of the judicial institutions to minimize corruption
  • introduction of state-owned grain storages to balance out the grain price
  • assignment of farmland to peasants
  • re-organization and reduction of the army
  • university reforms
  • reform of the state-owned medical institutions
Изюм
Изюм.

  • When Struensee abolished all censorship of the press, it mostly resulted in a flood of anti-Struensee pamphlets.
  • On 17 June 1771 the royal family and court took summer residence at the Hirschholm Palace. That summer has come to be referred to as the “Hirschholm Summer” in Danish history.
    After that summer, and after the arrest of Struensee and the Queen on 17 January 1772, and the subsequent execution of Struensee, and the banishment and imprisonment of the Queen, the palace stood empty until 1810. At that time Frederik VI had the now dilapidated palace torn down for use as build materials for the rebuilding of Christiansborg Palace, which had burned to the ground in the fire of 1794. (link)
  • The execution took place 28 April 1772 on Østerfælled, approximately where Denmark’s National Stadium PARKEN is located today, in front of approximately 30,000 of the city’s then 70,000 inhabitants. (map)
  • From “The Visit of the Royal Physician”, first chapter:
    Struensee and the park history
  • The axe used during execution can be seen at the National Museum.
  • Today there is not a single monument to Struensee in Denmark – (you can’t fuck a queen without retribution!)

* A place in the sun.
Королева родила дочку (желаюшие могут сравнить портреты).
Через принцессу Луизу-Августу Датскую, официально признанную дочерью Кристиана VII,
Струэнзе является предком нынешнего короля Швеции Карла XVI Густава и нынешнего наследника испанского престола принца Фелипе Астурийского.

Links.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johann_Friedrich_Struensee
Per Olov Enquist – The Visit of the Royal Physician – есть kindle edition
A Royal Affair (En kongelig affære) (2012) – кино про любоффь

Personal musings.
Personal musings.
That’s a great story, it pushes all the right buttons for me, tackles all the major themes and raises all the everpresent questions:
Power, responsibility, ideas, reality, power, seizing opportunity, perfect timing, power, staying human, invulnerability, adherence to principle, choice, decision making, responsibility, corruption by power, POWER.

Idealist comes by a perfect opportunity, vacuum of power, which can be used for… and then he HAS to answer all this questions.
I think he found an answer to them, but the Answer was very simple and not at all filled with hope, thus this relentless frenzy of law-making was started.
Yeah, he already knew how this will end.

Too idealistic, too unexperienced (or just too busy?) to secure his newfound political power and topple his enemies, but not a saint, stayed human afterall, so young and fresh faced queen is fucked, and enemies are provided with a weapon and death warrant is sealed.
Now, that’s a man after my own heart.

————————————————————————–

Wherever XV Devil comes up in a reading for me it means POWER and hunger for it, passions and responsibility.
Doing what you WANT because you CAN and have a right to do it, precisely because of desire and preparedness to act.
Principle which is SO easy to abuse, and XV card reminds of that, bluntly.

————————————————————————–

Lately, I’ve stumbled by chance on answers to those common “oh so deep and revealing” questions like “happiest day of your life”, “where you’d like to be buried”, etc
Now I know the answer to “you have a chance to meet any major historical figure, who would it be?” as well.

panic attack

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save me save me save me
save me save me save me
save me save me save me
save me

my father will stay in St.Petersburg ’till Dec. 13 for 25 bloody DAYS.
i love my father, i just don’t understand how can people live with their parents other people and don’t hang themselves or jump from the highest building?
i guess i could use a couple of lessons on the subject.

alone again (naturally)

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I quit my beloved job today, and it may seem i did it for no good reason.
I don’t a have a secured new position with a higher salary.
No one really bangs my door, eager to offer me one.
Why have i done it?

It was an emotional decision, which is unusual for me.
But emotional doesn’t mean wrong.

I invest a lot in my work.
You could even say I kept it runnin’ on my soul’ flame.
I pride myself on caring a whole lot about my work.
I’m more emotional about my work than I’m about my love life.
Emotional decision was valid.

What gives happiness at work?

Growth.
work must push your limits, broaden your vision, stretch your talents.
Clarity.
clear goals, clearly laid out rules, clearly drawn line of responsibility.
Unambiguous assessment.
don’t throw words like “you failed everything” every damn time,
despite whatever we’ve achieved.
Control.
just give me the damn control about what I do!
let me make my fuckin’ decisions!
I’m good at it.

And two weeks ago I looked around myself, and noticed that there’s no more fun in my work, there’s just monotonous trying to break through cordon of not-interested, while having close to none authority and being held responsible for not my decisions.

What sealed the deal for me through, was a minor detail; idle, random talk.
I was told that I DON’T care about my job.
And instantly I was tempted to STOP caring for real.
It was like having a key stone removed from it’s place.

If I DON’T care – I wish you can find someone who DOES.
And i’m excited to see you top my “everything is failed”-achievments.